My Hippogriff Don't Like People Laughing
by DCFan2012
Summary: A different look at how Harry reacts to Malfoy trying to get Buckbeak killed. One-shot based on a scene from Clint Eastwood's 'Fistful of Dollars.' Rated T for safety.


A/N: First things first: I own nothing. NOTHING!  
Secondly, this came to mind after watching some old Clint Eastwood clips on youtube, specifically one called 'my mule don't like people laughing'. Figured I'd give it a shot, so hope you enjoy. If you feel the need to flame, please be constructive.  
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Harry was walking down the hall towards the courtyard and main entrance of Hogwarts, face carefully neutral. People all around him were eyeing him carefully, some giving him a wide berth, but he paid them no mind as he made his way as he had one thing on his mind. In his Care of Magical Creatures class earlier that week, he found an unlikely potential friend in a hippogriff by the name of Buckbeak, only for Malfoy to let his stupid show and get hurt. One princess tantrum later and Harry's new friend is scheduled for the chopping block.

Passing Madame Pomfrey, no doubt on her way back to the hospital wing from breakfast, he gave her a nod and, without breaking stride, said, "Get three beds ready."

Arriving in the courtyard, he saw his target sitting on a low wall across the way. As expected, Crabbe and Goyle were accompanying him. What he hadn't expected, though, was the presence of Nott. Considering it for a moment, he figured it wouldn't affect the outcome and continued on towards quartet. They'd noticed his approach and lined up in front of him. He came to a stop a good dozen feet in front of them.

"What's the matter, Potty? Come to cry about that stupid animal? Figured you'd want to spent it's last few hours saying goodbye to the overgrown pigeon." Chuckles came from the other three, the only sound now being heard since all activity from those around had stopped.

"Yeah, you see... that's what I wanted to talk to you about. He's feeling real bad." As the confusion settled, not only on the Slytherins' faces, Harry noticed Ron and Hermione in the background. By the looks on their faces, they were thinking about joining him but backed off at a subtle shake of his head. Well, and a Hermione's hand on Ron's shoulder as the red head just didn't do subtle. Or spell it, for that matter.

"The hippogriff," Harry clarified as the confusion seemed to persist. "Now, I understand you're an idiot, Malfoy, and just didn't understand the simple instructions Hagrid gave on how to approach one. But the hippogriff, well he just doesn't get it. Now if you were to apologize..." His speech was cut off as the four started outright laughing. This annoyed him.

"I don't think it's nice, you laughin'." Something in his voice, this cold undertone, cut off their laughter as they really started to look at him. He shifted the sleeve of his robe, the wand holster coming into view on his wrist. "You see, the hippogriff don't like people laughin'. Gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now, if you apologize, like I know you will, maybe I can convince him you didn't mean it. After all, since you're weak enough to lose to a moderately annoyed wild animal without it trying, then how do you think things'll turn out when you face an incredibly annoyed me when I really put forth an effort?"

Silence reigned for a moment as he stared the four down. Had he been paying attention to those around him, he'd see Hermione's jaw on the ground and Ron's face stuck in a stupid grin as he watched what he swore was an early birthday present. He also would have noticed the approach of Professor Snape, his robes billowing with particular vigor today.

Before the grease stain could arrive, though, the four went for their wands. Before they were even half out he had flicked his wand into his hand and had four disarming spells and a slightly overdone tripping hex heading their way, which ended with four new wands for him and four mild concussions for them as their heads met on the way down and they landed in a heap on the ground.

As he was about to walk away, Snape was on the scene and screaming something about getting him expelled and to pack his things. As he was being pulled to the Headmaster's office by Snape, he saw Madam Pomfrey again and said, "My mistake, four beds."

Worth it.


End file.
